Author: Richard Dawkins, PHD in Everything

“Cooking is so easy as to be self-evident, and I have nothing but contempt for people who cannot…”

“Cooking is so easy as to be self-evident, and I have nothing but contempt for people who cannot prepare his or her own meals–unless he or she is a scientist. Then, quite obviously, one would be too busy working on important discoveries to trouble oneself with the mundanity of food preparation.”

Richard Dawkins, master chef

““I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree” Why are trees so tall? Because…”

““I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree”
Why are trees so tall? Because rival trees are. It’s an uneconomical race to light.”

Richard Dawkins, poet laureate

“Delta Airlines has the most brain-deadening muzak. And “at this time, at this time, at this…”

“Delta Airlines has the most brain-deadening muzak. And “at this time, at this time, at this time.” What’s wrong with “now”?”

Richard Dawkins, senior editor of the Oxford English Dictionary

“I don’t think Muslims should segregate sexes at University College London events. Oh NO, how…”

“I don’t think Muslims should segregate sexes at University College London events. Oh NO, how very ISLAMOPHOBIC of me. How RACIST of me.”

Richard Dawkins, noted feminist

“I am very conscious that you can’t condemn people of an earlier era by the standards of ours. Just…”

“I am very conscious that you can’t condemn people of an earlier era by the standards of ours. Just as we don’t look back at the 18th and 19th centuries and condemn people for racism in the same way as we would condemn a modern person for racism, I look back a few decades to my childhood and see things like caning, like mild pedophilia, and can’t find it in me to condemn it by the same standards as I or anyone would today.”

Richard Dawkins, prominent trauma therapist

“Interesting concept: a simple statement of undeniable FACT can be offensive. Other examples where…”

“Interesting concept: a simple statement of undeniable FACT can be offensive. Other examples where facts should be hidden because offensive?”

Richard Dawkins, heir apparent to Miss Manners’ throne

You even have a honeycomb… god tier

I believe you meant to say REASON tier.

“A god who is capable of sending intelligible signals to millions of people simultaneously, and of…”

“A god who is capable of sending intelligible signals to millions of people simultaneously, and of receiving messages from all of them simultaneously, cannot be, whatever else he might be, simple. Such bandwidth!”

Richard Dawkins, co-inventor of the internet

“I before e except after c? Yes. This rhyme is sufficient and I see no reason to revise the rhyme…”

“I before e except after c? Yes. This rhyme is sufficient and I see no reason to revise the rhyme now.”

Richard Dawkins, linguist extraordinaire

“Depressed? It is painfully apparent that you haven’t yet taught your brain to produce adequate…”

“Depressed? It is painfully apparent that you haven’t yet taught your brain to produce adequate levels of dopamine. Praying won’t work, I’ll tell you that much.”

Richard Dawkins, noted psychology expert